‘Now that you are an experienced Mother,
if you could tell yourself one piece of advice
to really listen to when you became a new mum,
what would it be?’
Follow your heart,
to your child’s level
to your child’s pace
Consider that ‘career’ means a pathway through life
and being a mother is great professional development
for every job in the whole world (and one day, someone will appreciate it!)
Be gentle: on yourself, on your kids, on your partner
and even on those folk who offer their advice, whether or not you asked them for it.
I’ve been a mother for 26+ years.
When I look back at how I went, let’s just say that I’m so glad that others stepped in to show me how to do it better, and, eventually, how to enjoy it.
If (when) I was stressed, it was usually because I was trying to fulfill what I thought were the world’s expectations of me.
When I wasn’t comparing what I was doing as a mum, I seemed to be using charts and measurements to compare my children with other children, or to what someone in a lab had figured my child ‘should’ be doing, or eating, or pooping.
Of course there were illnesses, teeth, (moving overseas didn’t help), school issues, things that got stuck up noses, bumps, rashes, stitches, ambulances and all the things that happen with living in busy houses with different people and different needs.
But, if I was less focused on my unrealistic expectations of myself, and was able to drop the comparison game, I believe much of my energy would have been better used on the kids – and life would have been more enjoyable for all of us.
If I was able to slow down to be just a bit quicker than my children, perhaps I wouldn’t have been as tired.
Perhaps if I wasn’t trying to manage every other person I met on the street, or in church, or at pre-school, I might have had more time to get down and enjoy my kids.
Perhaps if I hadn’t been so caught up in trying to gain the approval of everyone, and instead, learnt to watch and listen to my kids,
I might have had more of an idea of what they needed,
and would have been able to enjoy being a mum much sooner.
I know that if I’d trusted that God loved my kids even more than I loved them, life would have been a whole lot simpler.
It’s much easier to see all that in hind-sight.
If there was one piece of information that I could give myself:
To me, it seems that mothers of small children are often intent on saving the whole world,
Yet, to their children, they ARE the whole world.